Hello. I am writing to my 17-year-old self, who no doubt is horrified by the 47-year-old woman who sits typing these words. (Not by the computer, though. That is impressive, especially to a teenage girl who lives in the 80s.)
Apparently I can say anything to you, so I’m going to search my mind for a moment and sift through some tried-and-true clichés before I settle on something. Let’s see. “The world you know right now doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.” Boys, school, getting a driver’s license, where to go to college. Ok, so maybe that last one counts for something. But as things turn out, where you want to go to college right now isn’t where you’re going to end up graduating from anyway, so there’s that.
“Exercise! Get back into running! Sure, it will kill your knees later, but being in good shape is good for your self-esteem and you’ll thank me later.” This is all true. I wish I had kept up with the running with my dad. Exercising also falls under the same category as floss your teeth, use sunscreen, and don’t eat so much sugar.
See, by this point, I feel I’ve lost you. No one wants to get lectured, especially not by a middle-aged version of themselves. That’s the quickest way I know to have a deaf ear turned on you. I mean who am I, your mom?!
So what else is there? If I’m not lecturing you on how to live your life, chiding you for how you’re currently living it or minimizing your current problems, what’s left? I simply introduce myself and what… let you ask the questions?
Do you have any questions for me? Probably a whole load of them. No, before you ask, I can’t tell you what’s going to happen in the future. Whom will you marry, what kind of job will you have, how many kids? That’s what those little folded paper thingies are for, to tell you all of that stuff. Ok, so those are not scientifically proven to be 100% accurate, but it’s all you’ve got at this point. I can’t tell you the future, and I can’t nag you about what to do/what not to do because you won’t listen anyway. So, here we are, staring at each other, me at your awesome 80s hair and pink, flawless skin and you staring at me… in disbelief? Would horror be too strong a word? (I hope so.)
What I can say is that you should be true to yourself. There’s a 95% chance that that too is a cliché, but it’s important so I’ll just go ahead and say it anyway. Don’t live your life for other people. Don’t lose your values or sense of self for a friend, or for a guy, or even for a family member who may be very important to you. These are the formative years and it’s kind of a make-or-break time. I can say with certainty that you did pretty well during these years, considering all that could have gone wrong, so you should be pleased about that. No unexpected pregnancies, no drug problems, no drinking problems, no major traumatic experiences that shaped the course of your life or who you became as a person. But sometimes when you become too focused on one thing you lose sight of what you’re doing… you can’t see the forest for the trees, or so they say. This borders on “live in the moment, and enjoy every minute,” which is also a horrible cliché, so I’ll try not to get too close to that. Just be who you are and know that that’s enough. The only person you really, truly need to please is you.
So, hello, it’s really nice to see you again, and you’re doing a great job. Just keep it up. Now we must say goodbye… until we meet again.
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