Sunday, June 26, 2011

Big Time

I think I know why people have mid-life crises.

I don't think I'm having one just yet - I prefer to believe that I'll live past 80, which just isn't that old anymore, and besides, I have yet to buy a little red convertible. (You can't fit two booster seats in one of those.) I do, however, think the precursor to a mid-life crisis has begun.

Anyway, I think I know why it happens. The mid-life crisis typically occurs when most people have married and had kids, and when everything slows down, you enter the "What now?" phase. There are still things going on, but not of the magnitude that they were, say, 10 years before. Marriage is a Big Thing. Kids? Those are Big Things. When all of the excitement of planning and executing the Big Things end, you're left wondering what to do now. Therefore, I can't help but think... what is my next Big Thing?

That's not to say that I don't love the life that I have and the people in it, nor does it mean that I don't have anything left to look forward to. Both could not be further from the truth. But, once you hit this point in your life, you wonder what you could do next that makes a difference. I had a couple of cool jobs in my 20s, especially, and did some interesting things professionally that not many people can claim. I have some colorful stories stemming from these fun career experiences. All of that went by the wayside after having Alexander, as I opted to stay at home to care for him and then, soon after, Colette. And, as the kids are still very young, most of my colorful stories these days are heavily quoted by them. :) Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees, so the fact that I'm doing The Most Important Job in the World (I haven't forgotten that I am, don't worry) seems to lose some of its clout when you're in the trenches every day.

So it seems pretty natural that I look toward doing something professionally that will also satisfy me personally. The big benefit of not having to work outside the home means that I can be picky in terms of pursuing a career. And the downside of that is that when you're an indecisive person to begin with, the narrowing down process could take an eternity. :) As a creative person, I gravitate toward creative pursuits - namely, writing and some type of crafts (also an endless list. What kind of craft? For a while I thought it would be soap making... then a basket business. I also love paper crafts, wood painting, and have considered trying my hand at jewelry/bead work). But I'm constantly changing my mind or stalling in my creative efforts.

In the end, I always come back to writing. I am writing my book, from time to time, but all the while I'm wondering if what I'm writing has already been done (chances are, it has) or if it would be better off as just a reallllly long blog post (or several smaller ones) rather than a book. We'll see how it pans out if I ever get to the stage of acquiring an agent.

So, who knows what my next Big Thing will be. I sure don't. I'm still figuring out what it is I'm working towards now that the standard milestones have been reached. But whatever it is, I have to do it soon, and of course, do it Big. Otherwise I won't have enough money for my little red convertible for when I really need it.